9/27/2006 08:49:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Enough of the serious stuff - time for some potty humor! If I became a celebrity (and I have every intention to), I wouldn't hawk "cool" products like shoes and soft drinks. It would be everyday items that we actually need. Something like this could earn LL lots of street (or maybe toilet?) cred. Thanks to the always excellent Awesome Celebrity Nooz for the image and inspiration.
|W|P|115941539459672084|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/28/2006 01:29:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|Whoa! Nice one! Keep it comin', Matty Spanks.9/28/2006 08:14:00 PM|W|P| Leah|W|P|i thought you had to eat to get constipated...9/29/2006 10:34:00 AM|W|P| Ridic!|W|P|Nope, anorexia actually makes you quite constipated...nothing in = nothing out.
Which makes this that much more brilliant. Love it!9/29/2006 01:30:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|that's a good slogan...nothing in = nothing out.10/01/2006 10:53:00 PM|W|P| Janet|W|P|Nice: you just captured her beauty regime, acting skills and love life in one ad.10/03/2006 12:59:00 PM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|why do girls like poop jokes so much?10/03/2006 01:02:00 PM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|i know - girls are so GROSS!!9/26/2006 06:35:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|For personal reasons, blogs in general are pissing me off today. Thanks to Bob's Detached Head for help with the line.
|W|P|115927789790162484|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/26/2006 07:36:00 AM|W|P| David|W|P|Aww, Slink, don't allow blogs to affect your personal life.
Just use them for interpersonal rapport building and/or amusement.
And intrapersonal, should need arise.9/26/2006 07:37:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|So does that mean you're not going to read mine?9/26/2006 07:40:00 AM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|9/26/2006 07:43:00 AM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|Chris - this is the first time I saw yours; my faith is reinstated!9/26/2006 09:51:00 AM|W|P| S*|W|P|Isn't an overinflated sense of self-worth a prerequisite for blogging?9/26/2006 10:01:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|So true S*, but some people have an overinflated sense of self-worth even by blogger standards!9/26/2006 10:06:00 AM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|You could also flip it and say "For your UNDER inflated sense of self worth." That works, too.9/26/2006 10:12:00 AM|W|P| Z. Madison|W|P|slinks, you know i still love ya!
xoxo - Z.9/26/2006 10:31:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|Slink - UNDERinflated and OVERinflated senses of self-worth are often just the same thing, flip sides of the same coin. Usually when people have a ragingly over-the-top ego, it's usually an overcompensation they develop precisely because they actually have a lot of insecurity and self-hatred.
You can usually tell how screwed up a blogger's self-image actually is by how much of a nonstop arrogant, don't give a fuck, badass vibe they try to pull off.
That's my theory anyway.9/26/2006 10:35:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|ouch.9/26/2006 10:46:00 AM|W|P| Betty|W|P|Matt, I think you know as well as I do that the blogger world is really incestous. Some people on blogs do have inflated senses of self-worth, but others are just decent people looking for creative outlets. I think you shouldn't let yourself get caught up in the "blogging" world. After all, it's just like any other creative platform. Would you rather we were all emo open mic guitar playing artists? Come hang out in my hood on a tuesday night and you will wish you had never met those people.9/26/2006 11:25:00 AM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|T - agreed. AND, your postulating goes perfectly with your picture!9/26/2006 01:03:00 PM|W|P| Moda di Magno|W|P|Slinky!
Blogging = Free
Therapy = Expensive.
Really expensive for the deeply f*cked up.
xoxoxo9/26/2006 01:33:00 PM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|if you dont blog...how will the world know just how fucking awesome you are! by you, ofcourse i mean me.9/26/2006 01:33:00 PM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|yeah but see JT's comment - studies prove that Blogging makes you WORSE!9/26/2006 01:42:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|It's true, I tried blogging about my feelings for a little over a week, thinking it would be therapeutic...all it did was make me wallow in my misery and feel sorry for myself. Then all the "pick me up" comments just made me feel worse for some reason. I think the only way blogging actually works as therapy is if you write about things other than yourself.9/26/2006 07:28:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|oh blog shmog. they're so overrated.9/26/2006 09:07:00 PM|W|P| riese|W|P|wait...what's wrong with emo guitar playing?
see you at warped tour!
xo
ruby9/27/2006 07:52:00 AM|W|P| Moda di Magno|W|P|t.> Of course I'm going to write about someone else. Blogger is better than any old bathroom walls any day! Also, the skeeve-factor is very low (unless I've been eating doritos over the keyboard.)9/27/2006 01:53:00 PM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|For a more in-depth (and smarter) look at this "issue", visit the great Johnny Triangles: http://johnnytriangles.blogspot.com/2006/09/observations-about-blogging.html9/27/2006 03:29:00 PM|W|P| Miss Trashahassee|W|P|what about us'n's who jus' writes trashy stuff that aint never maked no sense?
Do that counts fer nuthin? or i gotsa go over 2 dozen-fifty more sezame seedlings?9/28/2006 05:58:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|Awww, shucks, Slinky. You makin me blush. Thanks!9/20/2006 02:32:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Hey! What would happen if Banana Republic used models from a REAL Banana Republic for one of their obnoxious campaigns?
|W|P|115878805096548164|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/20/2006 02:36:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|hotter than jessica joffe, that's for damn sure.9/20/2006 06:36:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|i think i know many a girl that would kill for those legs.9/20/2006 06:58:00 PM|W|P| Yasmin Waring|W|P|I do love it when you get political Slinky. This is a laughter-thru-tears one though.
btw, BR has also just released its first fragrance: ALABASTER.
Waddayathink? I think its perfect for colonizing and/or vacationing white liberals in third world countries. Which, I believe, is a substantive portion of their demographic.9/20/2006 07:22:00 PM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|Yes! I'm going to get some for my parents.9/22/2006 10:03:00 AM|W|P| copyranter|W|P|excellent.9/22/2006 11:20:00 AM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|you could do a whole series with this thing.9/25/2006 04:27:00 PM|W|P| Tanya Kristine|W|P|HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?9/18/2006 04:47:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|I've been dying to use a rollerblading Taz tattoo somewhere, somehow. Does everyone know at least 3 idiots who got one of these in high school?
|W|P|115862338834820237|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/20/2006 06:35:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|you really know people with such tattoos?9/22/2006 06:45:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|PE teacher had one in high school. the guy had amazing legs but you couldnt stare at them longer than 5 mins; the horrendous tattoo made it painfully uncanny. arent tattoos supposed to be evil anyways, why try to pull 'cute' with them??9/15/2006 09:27:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|In honor of today's spinach E.coli scare!
|W|P|115833778765227300|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/15/2006 11:50:00 AM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|She looks like she just had a bloody orgasm.9/15/2006 11:50:00 AM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|9/15/2006 11:51:00 AM|W|P| New York Punk|W|P|9/15/2006 01:09:00 PM|W|P| DrunkBrunch|W|P|Ah, caa caa caa caa!
(That was my Popeye laugh)9/15/2006 02:01:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|remember the chi-chi's scare?9/15/2006 03:26:00 PM|W|P| riese|W|P|i totally do. i remember thinking that i never really went to chi-chis expecting anything other than food poisining anyhow, and that also the restaurant i worked at at the time got a lot of extra bizness.9/15/2006 07:29:00 PM|W|P| Matt Brand|W|P|but isn't it terrible that something as innocent and healthful as spinach is getting the 'coli scarlett letter?9/18/2006 03:11:00 PM|W|P| Tanya Kristine|W|P|hilarious.
i'm suddenly craving massive amounts of spinach too. i guess peopel were right when they told me i only want what i can't have...9/19/2006 03:12:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|Overcome with anger by the gross inequities between those celebrities that
eat spinach and those that do not -- and thereby do not suffer -- Maddox
has taken up the rallying cry against E.Coli and all its bullshit.
Maddox
Jolie-Pitt: We Will No Longer Stand/Sit/Crawl In The Face of The Celebrity
Spinach Epidemic9/22/2006 12:55:00 AM|W|P| Ryan|W|P|Dead business women and spinach.
Let's be friends.9/12/2006 07:30:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|For those of you who don't think I can write, you're right. But I give it a shot as a guest today on High Class Jackass.
|W|P|115807161007971478|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/13/2006 08:57:00 PM|W|P| concha|W|P|matt, i finally wrote the sequal. and i don't even know what to feel about myself having just written a post like that...9/08/2006 01:00:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|I think Friskies should go for broke and market to the fat cats of the world. Thanks to Bob's Detached Head for the image and art direction.
|W|P|115774662293189619|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/08/2006 03:51:00 PM|W|P| Tracy Kaufman|W|P|I want that cat.9/08/2006 04:26:00 PM|W|P| riese|W|P|at least fat cats are less likely to run around and by run around i mean shed on my pants and try to lick my hands.9/11/2006 01:24:00 AM|W|P| Jason|W|P|Dude, that's not natural...9/11/2006 07:49:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|Fat cats are definitely de rigeur. Every chick I know has one.9/11/2006 10:34:00 AM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|that looks like my bathmat.9/11/2006 10:38:00 AM|W|P| Z. Madison|W|P|how'd you get a pic of my lazy lump of fur?9/11/2006 02:05:00 PM|W|P| Ridic!|W|P|Awww fat cats. So cute until they sleep on your face.9/11/2006 02:57:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|I'm lovin it!9/14/2006 04:58:00 PM|W|P| Tanya Kristine|W|P|i will read your writing and i'm excitied about it...i too tired now.
just wanted to pop in to tell you i still loved you.9/06/2006 08:15:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Fans of our sister site, Fake Bands and their Fake Albums, will delight at today's post. |W|P|115759901879938565|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/05/2006 09:50:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Maybe "the Goose" should leverage the avian influenza's ubiquitous brand recognition. Thanks Charlie!
|W|P|115751871844354203|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/06/2006 12:38:00 PM|W|P| |W|P|I've found my new call-in-sick-to-work language, thanks!9/06/2006 01:11:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|hey as long as it's tasty!9/06/2006 01:11:00 PM|W|P| pinknest|W|P|hey as long as it's tasty!9/06/2006 07:32:00 PM|W|P| Tanya Kristine|W|P|ain't that the truth...i must be immune9/06/2006 08:01:00 PM|W|P| Bethie|W|P|I can't wait to catch it!9/06/2006 09:16:00 PM|W|P| L|W|P|LOL, I will take a shot of that.9/07/2006 06:45:00 AM|W|P| |W|P|I vow to kick the next girl who orders a Grey Goose and tonic at the bar.