9/27/2006 08:49:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Enough of the serious stuff - time for some potty humor! If I became a celebrity (and I have every intention to), I wouldn't hawk "cool" products like shoes and soft drinks. It would be everyday items that we actually need. Something like this could earn LL lots of street (or maybe toilet?) cred. Thanks to the always excellent Awesome Celebrity Nooz for the image and inspiration. |W|P|115941539459672084|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/28/2006 01:29:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Whoa! Nice one! Keep it comin', Matty Spanks.9/28/2006 08:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Leah|W|P|i thought you had to eat to get constipated...9/29/2006 10:34:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Ridic!|W|P|Nope, anorexia actually makes you quite constipated...nothing in = nothing out.

Which makes this that much more brilliant. Love it!9/29/2006 01:30:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|that's a good slogan...nothing in = nothing out.10/01/2006 10:53:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Janet|W|P|Nice: you just captured her beauty regime, acting skills and love life in one ad.10/03/2006 12:59:00 PM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|why do girls like poop jokes so much?10/03/2006 01:02:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|i know - girls are so GROSS!!9/26/2006 06:35:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|For personal reasons, blogs in general are pissing me off today. Thanks to Bob's Detached Head for help with the line. |W|P|115927789790162484|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/26/2006 07:36:00 AM|W|P|Blogger David|W|P|Aww, Slink, don't allow blogs to affect your personal life.

Just use them for interpersonal rapport building and/or amusement.

And intrapersonal, should need arise.9/26/2006 07:37:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|So does that mean you're not going to read mine?9/26/2006 07:40:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.9/26/2006 07:43:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|Chris - this is the first time I saw yours; my faith is reinstated!9/26/2006 09:51:00 AM|W|P|Blogger S*|W|P|Isn't an overinflated sense of self-worth a prerequisite for blogging?9/26/2006 10:01:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|So true S*, but some people have an overinflated sense of self-worth even by blogger standards!9/26/2006 10:06:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|You could also flip it and say "For your UNDER inflated sense of self worth." That works, too.9/26/2006 10:12:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Z. Madison|W|P|slinks, you know i still love ya!

xoxo - Z.9/26/2006 10:31:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Slink - UNDERinflated and OVERinflated senses of self-worth are often just the same thing, flip sides of the same coin. Usually when people have a ragingly over-the-top ego, it's usually an overcompensation they develop precisely because they actually have a lot of insecurity and self-hatred.

You can usually tell how screwed up a blogger's self-image actually is by how much of a nonstop arrogant, don't give a fuck, badass vibe they try to pull off.

That's my theory anyway.9/26/2006 10:35:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|ouch.9/26/2006 10:46:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Betty|W|P|Matt, I think you know as well as I do that the blogger world is really incestous. Some people on blogs do have inflated senses of self-worth, but others are just decent people looking for creative outlets. I think you shouldn't let yourself get caught up in the "blogging" world. After all, it's just like any other creative platform. Would you rather we were all emo open mic guitar playing artists? Come hang out in my hood on a tuesday night and you will wish you had never met those people.9/26/2006 11:25:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|T - agreed. AND, your postulating goes perfectly with your picture!9/26/2006 01:03:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Moda di Magno|W|P|Slinky!

Blogging = Free
Therapy = Expensive.

Really expensive for the deeply f*cked up.

xoxoxo9/26/2006 01:33:00 PM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|if you dont blog...how will the world know just how fucking awesome you are! by you, ofcourse i mean me.9/26/2006 01:33:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|yeah but see JT's comment - studies prove that Blogging makes you WORSE!9/26/2006 01:42:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|It's true, I tried blogging about my feelings for a little over a week, thinking it would be therapeutic...all it did was make me wallow in my misery and feel sorry for myself. Then all the "pick me up" comments just made me feel worse for some reason. I think the only way blogging actually works as therapy is if you write about things other than yourself.9/26/2006 07:28:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|oh blog shmog. they're so overrated.9/26/2006 09:07:00 PM|W|P|Blogger riese|W|P|wait...what's wrong with emo guitar playing?

see you at warped tour!
xo
ruby9/27/2006 07:52:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Moda di Magno|W|P|t.> Of course I'm going to write about someone else. Blogger is better than any old bathroom walls any day! Also, the skeeve-factor is very low (unless I've been eating doritos over the keyboard.)9/27/2006 01:53:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|For a more in-depth (and smarter) look at this "issue", visit the great Johnny Triangles: http://johnnytriangles.blogspot.com/2006/09/observations-about-blogging.html9/27/2006 03:29:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Miss Trashahassee|W|P|what about us'n's who jus' writes trashy stuff that aint never maked no sense?

Do that counts fer nuthin? or i gotsa go over 2 dozen-fifty more sezame seedlings?9/28/2006 05:58:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Awww, shucks, Slinky. You makin me blush. Thanks!9/20/2006 02:32:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Hey! What would happen if Banana Republic used models from a REAL Banana Republic for one of their obnoxious campaigns? |W|P|115878805096548164|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/20/2006 02:36:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|hotter than jessica joffe, that's for damn sure.9/20/2006 06:36:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|i think i know many a girl that would kill for those legs.9/20/2006 06:58:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Yasmin Waring|W|P|I do love it when you get political Slinky. This is a laughter-thru-tears one though.

btw, BR has also just released its first fragrance: ALABASTER.

Waddayathink? I think its perfect for colonizing and/or vacationing white liberals in third world countries. Which, I believe, is a substantive portion of their demographic.9/20/2006 07:22:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|Yes! I'm going to get some for my parents.9/22/2006 10:03:00 AM|W|P|Blogger copyranter|W|P|excellent.9/22/2006 11:20:00 AM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|you could do a whole series with this thing.9/25/2006 04:27:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Tanya Kristine|W|P|HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?9/18/2006 04:47:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|I've been dying to use a rollerblading Taz tattoo somewhere, somehow. Does everyone know at least 3 idiots who got one of these in high school? |W|P|115862338834820237|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/20/2006 06:35:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|you really know people with such tattoos?9/22/2006 06:45:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|PE teacher had one in high school. the guy had amazing legs but you couldnt stare at them longer than 5 mins; the horrendous tattoo made it painfully uncanny. arent tattoos supposed to be evil anyways, why try to pull 'cute' with them??9/15/2006 09:27:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|In honor of today's spinach E.coli scare! |W|P|115833778765227300|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/15/2006 11:50:00 AM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|She looks like she just had a bloody orgasm.9/15/2006 11:50:00 AM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.9/15/2006 11:51:00 AM|W|P|Blogger New York Punk|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.9/15/2006 01:09:00 PM|W|P|Blogger DrunkBrunch|W|P|Ah, caa caa caa caa!

(That was my Popeye laugh)9/15/2006 02:01:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|remember the chi-chi's scare?9/15/2006 03:26:00 PM|W|P|Blogger riese|W|P|i totally do. i remember thinking that i never really went to chi-chis expecting anything other than food poisining anyhow, and that also the restaurant i worked at at the time got a lot of extra bizness.9/15/2006 07:29:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Matt Brand|W|P|but isn't it terrible that something as innocent and healthful as spinach is getting the 'coli scarlett letter?9/18/2006 03:11:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Tanya Kristine|W|P|hilarious.

i'm suddenly craving massive amounts of spinach too. i guess peopel were right when they told me i only want what i can't have...9/19/2006 03:12:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Overcome with anger by the gross inequities between those celebrities that
eat spinach and those that do not -- and thereby do not suffer -- Maddox
has taken up the rallying cry against E.Coli and all its bullshit.

Maddox
Jolie-Pitt: We Will No Longer Stand/Sit/Crawl In The Face of The Celebrity
Spinach Epidemic
9/22/2006 12:55:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Ryan|W|P|Dead business women and spinach.

Let's be friends.9/12/2006 07:30:00 AM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|For those of you who don't think I can write, you're right. But I give it a shot as a guest today on High Class Jackass. |W|P|115807161007971478|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/13/2006 08:57:00 PM|W|P|Blogger concha|W|P|matt, i finally wrote the sequal. and i don't even know what to feel about myself having just written a post like that...9/08/2006 01:00:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|I think Friskies should go for broke and market to the fat cats of the world. Thanks to Bob's Detached Head for the image and art direction. |W|P|115774662293189619|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/08/2006 03:51:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Tracy Kaufman|W|P|I want that cat.9/08/2006 04:26:00 PM|W|P|Blogger riese|W|P|at least fat cats are less likely to run around and by run around i mean shed on my pants and try to lick my hands.9/11/2006 01:24:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Jason|W|P|Dude, that's not natural...9/11/2006 07:49:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Fat cats are definitely de rigeur. Every chick I know has one.9/11/2006 10:34:00 AM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|that looks like my bathmat.9/11/2006 10:38:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Z. Madison|W|P|how'd you get a pic of my lazy lump of fur?9/11/2006 02:05:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Ridic!|W|P|Awww fat cats. So cute until they sleep on your face.9/11/2006 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I'm lovin it!9/14/2006 04:58:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Tanya Kristine|W|P|i will read your writing and i'm excitied about it...i too tired now.

just wanted to pop in to tell you i still loved you.9/06/2006 08:15:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Fans of our sister site, Fake Bands and their Fake Albums, will delight at today's post. |W|P|115759901879938565|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/05/2006 09:50:00 PM|W|P|Matt Brand|W|P|Maybe "the Goose" should leverage the avian influenza's ubiquitous brand recognition. Thanks Charlie! |W|P|115751871844354203|W|P||W|P|brandspankin@gmail.com9/06/2006 12:38:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I've found my new call-in-sick-to-work language, thanks!9/06/2006 01:11:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|hey as long as it's tasty!9/06/2006 01:11:00 PM|W|P|Blogger pinknest|W|P|hey as long as it's tasty!9/06/2006 07:32:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Tanya Kristine|W|P|ain't that the truth...i must be immune9/06/2006 08:01:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Bethie|W|P|I can't wait to catch it!9/06/2006 09:16:00 PM|W|P|Blogger L|W|P|LOL, I will take a shot of that.9/07/2006 06:45:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I vow to kick the next girl who orders a Grey Goose and tonic at the bar.